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Question: My Lonley Poem!?
hi im irish living in ireland and my wife and baby girl are visiting family in china, (she is chinese) our baby girl of 7 months!. and i miss them both terrably!. :(

my teacher asked us to blank our minds and in 30 seconds write what comes in to our mind!. this is what i wrote!. can you tell me what you think please:

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Gone, so far away from me,
My heart and my soul,
Now in a distant land,
My body now empty!.

How I miss the noise,
The fight and the tantrums,
I stand silently thinking
Screaming thoughts run through my head,
The memories, oh god all the memories,
How they hurt me!.

The loneliness clouds me,
Like the darkness surrounding me,
Oh how I miss them
I miss my babies, my babies,Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is very touching!. conveys, the loneliness in your heart!. We get it, you are missing your family v!. much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it would be good if it had a tune, sorta like song lyrics!. goood!Www@QuestionHome@Com

aww, I liked it!. Good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com