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Question: What do you think about this poem ive been writing!?
sauntering through

moonless nights,
sunless days,
dreadful skies,
blotched with gray!.

a hopless child,
a beaten kid,
woeful times,
shattered with mistakes!.

a large world,
moving to fast,
to notice a pleaful cry,
for a single hand to hold!.

a shed tear,
a broken dream,
people bleeding with pity,
but the blood of sorrow,
never reaches their eyes!.

a darkened spirit,
a smoldered soul,
screaming with rage,
and no one to hear it!.

so come along,
the road keeps going,
put up your stop signs,
and unravel your ropes,
leave this pain behind,
no faith, no hopes!.

there's no truth,
no loose ends to tie,
so sun, no moon,
there's nothing left to say goodbye!.

this is it,
the time has come,
to thrust down your dreams,
and pick up your gun!.

kelsey!.


so im only 14 so dont be too harsh!.
but i wrote this a few months ago and ive been thinking about it!.
does anything need to be changed!.
anything too cheesy!.
i dont like cheesy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its quite amazing for a 14 year old :)

the context is great

just maybe a bit more rhythm!.

other than that!.!.!.!.!.
it is absolutely amazing!. very lyrical :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

it's quite amazing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's greatWww@QuestionHome@Com

I don't think that it was cheesy at all - I like it very much!. It is good and emotional!. I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com