Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Please read my song....?


Question: Please read my song!.!.!.!.!?
This is the first song I've ever wrote, I would like all Creative criticism, I've tried to write a bridge, but was having difficulties, and I don't have a title, I started writing the song with a title, but I changed the song too much, and now it doesn't fit at all, so if you could suggest a title too!. Thank you!.


I'm sitting in the dark here!.
I am watching a movie!.
It fells like de ja vu!.
I've seen it before
Why is this happening, they have done this once before!?
why won't they stop!?

Well this is my life,
My life
Why don't I have control!?
And if it's my life,
my life
Why do you have control!?

I'm stuck inside this movie!.
I feel like I might die here!.
I want to leave this place
I've tried to run away!.
What's the point of being here, if I can't change the script!?
why can't I leave!?

Well this is my life,
My life
Why don't I have control!?
And if it's my life,
my life
Why do you have control!?


Now I'm at the ending!.
It came just like expected
I gave up on trying
,just let you have control
How did we ever get here, the sad part is I know!.
Why did I know

Well this is my life,
My life
Why don't I have control!?
And if it's my life,
my life
Why do you have control!?

Well this is my life,
My life
Why don't I have control!?
And if it's my life,
my life
Why do you have control!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Pretty good! But in the first stanza you messed up by writing It fells like de ja vu instead of it feels!.!.!.I guess a good title could be "Control of my life" or "It's my life!"Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. I had a tune in my head the whole time I was reading it!. For a title you could do "Control"

Good job and good luck with future songs!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

coolWww@QuestionHome@Com