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Question: Do you like my newest poems!?
Earth Bound

Stay in, I’m born again!.
The skies are gray but the Earth is vibrant!.
Dancing to each note, while counting the lines between you and my skin!.
Every inch is gathered by your tongue!.
Earth has bound me;
You have captured every part!.
The sky swells in your hand;
The same hand devours my heart!.
(You are the Earth)


Mirror Skined

Smell dust from the skin,
before it shatters!.
Flesh burns a whole in imitation!.
Now melt the hand!.
Acid cascades from vision,
pouring down, it sets flame to shadows,
destroying reflections!.
Glass melts into the skin again!.


Erosion

Watch this act of pain,
no care!.
no shame!.
Look into my eyes see red before the decline,
listen carefully you are the erosion
no sight!.
no solution!.
Feel the rocks under my skin
you are the one who falls!.


Leaden

Will you change me!?
Will you be my end!?
Is this worth it!?

Are you worthy!?
Are you full of mercy!?
Can you help me!?

Come now in silence
Fill me
Slow down

Is this heaven!?
Is this all that will be!?
Can I change it!?

Will we focus!?
Will we find the pieces!?
Are you with me!?

Come now in silence
Fill me
Slow down

Imagery finds me!.
All that is will be!.
Can we try now!?
Synthetic motion,
are we buttons with no end!?
Can we see now!?

Come now in silence
Fill me
Slow down

~Note: I realize that they are not typical poems but what do you think, which one is the best, and how could I imporve them!. Thank you so much!Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love your poetry style!.
My favorite was Erosion; i found it very deep and passionate!.
I am trying to work on my own poetry as well, therefore i have no great tips to give!. Keep putting emotion into your poems; people will find them very meaningful!.
I don't exactly get what you are trying to say in Mirror Skined though!.
by the way, it was one of the best poems iv ever read that was posted on yahoo:]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Mhm, I do!
I like Mirror Skinned the best!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Maybe i'm not reading deeply enough, but I dont get the point of these poems!. I mean they are good, but there is no feeling to them!. Like i dont feel that writing these poems have eased your emotions or expressed your true feelings or anything!. I feel like these are just words artfully put together to evoke conversation and thought but not for the reader to understand how you feel!.

Try searching for this poem by "Rana" thats her yahoo screen name!. she posted a poem that i commented on and I really felt her emotion!.!.!.

once again, im not saying your poems are bad, they are quite good, but i dont feel them!.!.

good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

The first three are really cool!. I like short poems and yours captivated me while reading them, so I guess they are successful as poems!. Earthbound is nice and Mirror Skined is bad@ss!. Good stuff!. ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com