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Question: I wrote this about a minute ago, perlease please comment!?!?!?
The confession of a dead dancer


Your fingers tremble within my palm,
As my sightless eyes grow pale!.
To my blood soaked lips, you are the balm,
That leaves my voice so stale!.

As swiftly as your breath slows,
I dare not pull away!.
Your legs, they force a nimble pose,
As you arch your neck and pray!.

You can feel the breathless eyes,
That watch your body shrink!.
The sudden warmth of countless sighs,
To pause your final blink!.

They asked for you to burn the soul,
That shut our visions rest!.
They considered your heart of dusty coal,
Of which your mind does rest!.

The suddenness of falling limbs,
That framed your beaten face!.
Your silent pulse, through blood it swims,
And stifled the forceful grace!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There seems to be a hint of C!.P!.R going on!. Is this correct!? Is the person who had the heart of dusty coal being given the kiss of life!? This seems to be going on in the midst of an accident!.
Good poem, of course and well written!. Thanks for sharing this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Gorgeous use of the language, very vivid expression! It brings to mind the disturbing image of someone beaten to a pulp, though!. Was that your intent!?

You have wonderful talent, my dear!. Whatever you do, keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Thats unbelievable!. Absolutely great for such a short amount of time!. Publish it, I'm serious!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

My compliments to you! That's good indeed!.

Have you read " Black Marigolds"!?

And you are only thirteen!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

FantasticWww@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!. Publish it!.!.!. U should be hell proud of yourself!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you have a gift!. its getting rarer for someone to be able to write such deep poetry with such fantastic rythm and rhyme!. most poems nowadays are freestyle or slam!. i think you will have a future in this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

WOW! You are very talented!. Very deep poem! xWww@QuestionHome@Com

whoa thatsss really really good i love it =pWww@QuestionHome@Com