I just wrote this poem. What do you think?

Question: I just wrote this poem!. What do you think!?

A lie once permeating the air it found
The truth wholly open and bound
Words spoken no longer in doubt
How I so wish to leave and get out

Not so simple, I always say
I'll always be here to stay
But for every word of yours that I hear
The familiar breath of your lies appear

Not so simple, I always say
Just pull through it and stay
Because a day will come on by
Where you'll say anything but a lie

suggestions!? comments!?

anything would be usefulWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

very excellent, and im not just saying that!.

but you may just want to watch your rhythm a bit!.

no big deal, i have issues with it too, but just be mindful of your beat!.

:) good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nicely done!. I should mention: Grammatically, it should be "The familiar breath of your lies appears" since "appears" refers to the singular breath, not the plural "lies" in the prepositional phrase!. Stuff like that sticks out to me; I can't help it!. I'm not sure if there's a good way to rework the phrase, because it sounds very good as is!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like it, it's really descriptive and deep great job!. "The familiar breath of your lies appear" amazing!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

an amazing poem
id say add a stanza or two, and stronger word choice, but thats just meWww@QuestionHome@Com

it is deepWww@QuestionHome@Com

Omg i wish i was good as u its AMAZING!!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com