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Question: Do you like my poem!.!.!.!.!.!?
In a place of isolation one will tend to find,
the feeling and emotions that were left behind!.
To begin again, to end again!.
To create from scratch
only to be transformed by the fools
that hid the creeping match!.
Fire brewing with desire,
kept crawling untill the ground was somber!.
Plaguing the innocene of your mind with words
that seemed only true,
the world was unleashed now in a of sense brand new!.
With a set of distinct eyes you see the lies wrapped
around their tongues!.
You take a breath inhale the infection into
your frosted lungs!.
Turning, gasping, blinking hard to see clearly!.
To see the world smirking
and hear the repetetive words declared!.
"This is the world, child!.
Only the lucky ones who don't speak a word, get spared"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You lost me about ten lines in!. Your syntax became convoluted and I could hardly tell what you are saying!.

Try reading your poem out loud as though in front of an audience!. I think you'll get tongue tied after, "Fire brewing with desire!."

It might read easier if you meter out your sentences as some are short and some are long so if you write it with only a certain amount of words or syllables per line then it might be easier to read!.

"You take a breath inhale the infection into your frosted lungs!." What does that even mean!?

Sometimes poets hide behind there words then get upset when people don't "get it!."

But as you know only the lucky ones who don't speak a word, get spared!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oooh so powerful!.!.!.

i love it!.

if anyone says they don't get it or whatever, don't worry!. its great!.
mine!?

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love that!. Well written, beautiful!. I "felt it"

Please give me YOUR opinion on mine! http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A very nice reality check!. Wonderful expression!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!.!. thats really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

BeautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com

oh man that is good but kinda sad/scary!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

si!. I like it!. best part was the frosted lungs!. nice job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it when you write poems!.


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