A Story, Part1!.
It was almost dark, and I held the last cigarette to my lips and spun my car into the vacant lot where Blackie was supposed to meet me!. I lit up and reached for the fifth of Jack that rested half empty under the seat!. I took a long, hot gulp and waited!. I talked to Blackie twice on the phone that night, and both conversations left me feeling like I’d been kicked in the guts!. This guy was a real sicko!. He said he’d been in the business for 15 years, and that I could depend on him to come through for me!. I couldn’t believe what I had gotten myself into, but when you have a reputation as the best Private Dick on the streets, you get yourself tied up into some real bad stuff!. They don’t call me Uncle Dirty for nothing!.
After 2 hours and an empty fifth, Blackie slow-rolled into the lot!. He was driving a broken down mini-van that had piss green curtains hanging from each window!. He killed the engine and flicked his lights once!. I flicked mine!. I flicked them again!. It was dark now, but you could still see the bright green curtains hanging, mostly closed!. Something moved!. I flicked again, this time leaving them on for a few seconds!. There was a small face peering out from between the curtains!. The face looked scared, like a rat in a cage!. Then another face appeared, then another!. Blackie got out of the van and walked around to the side, smacking his fist up against the window!. The faces disappeared at once, and Blackie laughed an evil laugh that carried through the dark like shards of glass!. I shut of my El Camino and stared ahead, wondering what the hell to do next!.
When I got out of the car I could really feel the whiskey kicking in!. That fifth felt like a quart and I leaned on the Camino to steady myself!. I shook my head to clear the cobwebs and that’s when I saw Blackie coming at me!. I turned just in time to duck the swooping right hand but he brought his knee up square into my stomach and I dropped!. Then I heard that laugh again!. Then the Leprechauns were on me like flies, punching and kicking, pulling hair and spitting!. One of the little basstards even bit me in the balls!. I was through, finished, and I knew it so I just covered up and waited for the little green monsters to stop!. Eventually I lost my will and the blackness took over!.
I woke up naked with a blood-soaked towel wrapped around my groin!. My hands were bound together with rope and I was sitting up against the back tire of the van!. Blackie was kneeling beside me grinning, his crap-breath covering my face!. He whispered, “Howdy, Uncle Dirty!. Wanna party!? We got all night long, boy…” I kicked at him and missed!. One of the Leprechauns smacked me across the face with a bag full of round balls!. They felt soft, like one of those stress balls you squeeze, instead of punching someone!. Then one of the balls fell out and I thought I recognized it!. I immediately looked down at my crotch and that’s when Blackie ripped away the towel with a laugh and I felt myself passing out again!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com