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Question: Do you like my poem!? (you can be honest)!?
It's called "Bad Kisser"

You kissed my lips so gently,
But I felt it everywhere!.
I felt it way up on my head
And down into my hair!.
It sent warmth to my fingertips,
It curled into my toes,
It gave my spine the shivers
And put tingles in my nose!.
It made my heart leap in my chest,
My stomach tied in knots!.
It turned my knees to noodles,
And my eyes were seeing spots!.
My mind finds it hard to explain
The feelings that I got!.!.!.
I must be a bad kisser, though,
Because you felt it not!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I usually hate the so-called poems posted on Yahoo but this one has lots going for it!.

It reminds me of Roger McGough's work - it's highly descriptive and vivid, but in an effortless way that makes the reader think the poet is cool and confident in what they're writing!.

- not keen on the last four lines - I think they let it down a bit!.

'my mind finds it hard to explain' seems a bit clumsy in comparison!. Suddenly, you're using non words to make a non sentence that's all about making your rhyme work, not about communicating feelings!.

also, not that keen on the inversion in the final rhyme 'you felt it not'!. You've been talking in contemporary phrases up till now, why suddenly revert to Victorian construction!? Think you should rework those last four lines!.

But, overall, like it very much and think it's almost there!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very interesting, well written!. Bombarded with a variety of metaphors, perhaps try replacing a metaphor with a simile!. Hmm, what is this written in!? Prose!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

i guess it's just not the poem for me!.

too sappy, me thinks!.

but apparently i'm the only one who thinks that!.

must be weird!. hahaWww@QuestionHome@Com

Holy crap it's brilliant!.
I'm in love with it!!!!
Gahhhhh that's pretty impressive!. I'm never able to rhyme that way when I right!.
Stellar!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the way you describe how you felt when you were kissed!. I bet he felt it too!. I like poetry that rhymes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh wow you are a truly beautiful poet!. i write too but i am not yet this good!. keep on writing poetry!.
you have a gift!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com