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Question: Ye of short attention span, don't bother to read!.!.need input!?
Oh how I love my wealth and my land, and
This fine day decided to walk near my private
Creek!. Woe to anyone who should be sauntering
On my property!. My vicious canine will remedy
That problem with teeth latched upon skin, not to
Mention the pulling power associated with, to
Rip a fine gash on the leg of the poor victim!.

This Spring morning was brighter than others
For a reason not understood by me, as I am
Not very educated, but I know how to act as
Such to my few (very few) circle of friends!.
I arrived at the point I loved most, a large moss
Covered stone, that with the help of the sun
Shone the most brilliant green not even the
Greatest artist could bring to canvas!.

I always enjoyed standing on this mossy stone
Staring down at my small river with smaller rocks
Wondering how deep underground they went, and
Was reminded of an iceberg on the sea that shows
Merely one tenth it's true size as it floats at one
Knot toward the windward vessel of old as the worthy
Sea Captain attempts a slow tack as to avoid death!.

A whimper from my loyal Shephard caught my ear
And my response was to leave me in my ignorant
Bliss when all of a sudden I was on my back upon
The moss covered stone in a backward arch!. Silly
Me!. I forgot that moss was slippery!. I felt no pain
As I couldn't move my legs!. The eyes of my servant
Dog said it all!. By the wagging tail, I knew I was alone!.

After a few seconds of staring and wagging he walked
To my creek for a drink, walked to me and lifted his leg!.
I was alone!. Not a religious man by my modest
Upbringing, money was God and that was that!. But
I couldn't help but think of that guy who God tested to
Knife his kid on a rock, soon saved by an angel at the
Last possible moment!. I waited for my angel!.

A day passed and the morning sun was as beautiful
As the previous day before fate put me in my current
Predicament!. I thought back to my days of school
Recollecting about something about the 'heirarchy of
Needs'!. How did that go again!? Shelter first!?
My needs were those of aesthetic, and the needs to
Know and understand, which proved fruitless now!.

I was confident my leg-lifting dog would not return
And I took this act as an insult!. Shelter, water, food!.
The needs returned!. No school needed for that!.
Exposure!. The first cause of death!. I asked myself
If it was too late to pray!. I prayed for that angel to
Come and save me, in any form It chooses to take!.
And behold! there it was!. My angel!. I saw that it
Decided to take the appearance of a mountain lion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
What a helpful, sweet wonderful boy he is!. I don't see his comments often (because like a true coward his q&a is private), but when I do it's b*tchy, unhelpful little statements like the one above!. I have never seen one thing he has written that I have wanted to read again, so don't take his words into account!.

My opinion is that the poem is much too dense and over-stated, and your thoughts seem to wander!. It's not that my attention span is short, only you go off topic several times ("Moss is slippery!.!.!." Money, God and modesty)!. And by no means should you have a million ten dollar words in your poem, but to me the language you used was a little flat!. I have read poems of yours I liked in the past though, and I don't think it was a "complete waste of time"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Absolute pants!. A complete waste of my time and yours!.

That's because my time is more valuable than yours, one who is below me!. (Socially and talent-wise!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com