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Question: What do you think of this thing that I wrote!?
It's called, "World in my eyes:"

Let me take you to an illusive place of nonexistence!. Traveling between dimensions to an alternate universe where you can see things through the thin veil of aqua colored eyes!. My world spread out before you: Tinged with drops of colour here and there, with black lining the edges!. Monotonous words travel blindly through the air and pierce my skin like tiny shards of glass!. Waves of sorrow collide inside my open mind; bringing in tides of joy that drift in aimlessly!. See the pathetic excuse for the world, as it crumbles and shakes with the momentum of people drowning utterly in sorrow!. A white hot rush of rage venemously sweeps across the human race, laden with violence and hatred!. The slides of darkness slither blindly through the atmosphere and consume the cries of collective misery!. My troubled world as it is, completely devoid of the tranquility that seems to seal the minds of the spotless people that fill the earth!. Tiny flecks of happiness sparkle lifelessly in the air, slowly churning in the midst of darkness and fading into nothingness!. The entire contents of my world slowly retreat to black: A whirlwind of vibrant colours, wanly diminishing into ashen pools of blackness!. Darkness floods my mind, blotting out the lingering traces of colour and painting the canvas of my world black!.



Hmmm I know it's crap but I'm only 15 and I wrote it for my own edification and it's supposed to reflect my life!.!.!.Or something!. I'm gonna edit it and fix all of the fiddly bits so don't get all irritated and heckle with my grammar: It's just a rough draft!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it a lot, it reminds me of the things that I write myself, where I'm trying to explain what life feels like to me without talking about life directly!. It seems you're disappointed with the way the world turned out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it! i think its really good, but i read stuff like this a lot of the time!. reminds me of like, idon'tt know something physcadelic (i know i probably spelled that wrong!) or something i cant describe right! lol!.Www@QuestionHome@Com