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Question: How do you like mypoem!?
I am 14 so yea(dont be cruel)


As I watch
With my feet pressed firmly
Leaves dancing continuosly
No definate fate

All is calm
All is right

Seems to be no other one
Except her and I
Meet eye to eye

Wind going and blowing
With and Autum scent
Our relationship perfect
Not a single threat

Feelings for friends and
Single bliss
Til' the faithful night
We give our first kissWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
you got to be kidding!. you aren't 14!. that is great!. you can make money on thatWww@QuestionHome@Com

I didn't care for it!.

In the first stanza, i just imagined this boy cuddled up with his knees against his chest and his feet pressed firmly against the ground with leaves twittering about him in some vast whiteness!. there was no scenery besides the leaves, so why bother mentioning the leaves!?

Seems to be no other one
Except her and I
Meet eye to eye

you may want to change to:

Seems to be no other two
Except her and I
Meet eye to eye!.

Just because, if you think about it, saying "seems to be no other one, except her and i" doesn't make sense!. considering that first you're seeing there's no other ONE, and then you name "except HER AND I" which is two people!.

Scent and threat don't rhyme!. again with the scenery thing!. I hear this wind howling, and i smell an autumn-like aroma, but then you leave the scene and just talk about how your relationship is perfect!. don't try to force a rhyme, it's stupid!.

the last stanza, your first line is talking about feelings for friends!. wait wait wait!. i thought your relationship with your girlfriend was perfect!? and you still have feelings for your friends!? you bastard!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i liked it!.

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yes!. it is wonderfulWww@QuestionHome@Com

Nice poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com