Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> Inspired by.... a poem .. please peruse, and dissect it. Opinions wanted?Question: Inspired by!.!.!.!. a poem !.!. please peruse, and dissect it!. Opinions wanted!? **************************************!.!.!. Wrapped in blankets, locked out, it’s cold Mem’ries , ideas, quickly unfold Fuzzy and warm… delirious, Things feel, so very, serious The dark clouds rolling in so fast Into myself my eyes I cast Introspective, questing, learning Yet my heart is sorely yearning Talking to myself I’m saying What is this, that, for I am paying!? My slumber now has seen defeat My words wrap round, seem to repeat I now, receptive, to the cold My words do flow so big and bold I think… that I …am o!.k!., now The blanket drops, I take a bow Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The blanket of security as one tries to figure out life or his/her position in it!. Interesting poem, well crafted and thought provoking!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Your poem of yearning for identity, and acceptance for identity, works consistently well as message!. The meter of the poem seems to get better as you go along!. Now if you intended it to be as such because your emerging identity was that of the precise, metrical writer, then the self-reference is a clever use of poetic device!. Otherwise, you would have to smooth the meter, especially in the first stanza, by writing lines with a set pattern of syllable count!. "My words do flow so big and bold" is a perfectly metered line exactly where it was needed, and uses ornaments in a way that is euphonious without being ostentatious!. Generally, a solid effort that with a small investment of time you could improve yet further!.!.!. aye, the poet's work is never done!Www@QuestionHome@Com What we find beneath the surface of our various moods, and changing times of backward movement!.Www@QuestionHome@Com OK, indeed!.!.!.!.indeed Www@QuestionHome@Com This is good!. I wanted stronger language in S3 L2, "For what the **** do I keep paying!."Www@QuestionHome@Com Great write!.!.!."The blanket drops, I take a bow!." Loved that line! maWww@QuestionHome@Com I think Neo said it all!. My compiments as well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com reminds me of Linus in Charlie Brown!.!.lol!.!.!.!.great jobWww@QuestionHome@Com |