Would you critique my poem for me, please?

Question: Would you critique my poem for me, please!?

In the reflections of a broken mirror,
On fingerprinted glass,
There's drawn a shattered image,
A ghost within the past!.

Perhaps it was a memory,
Written to forget!.
Or the shadow of a dream,
Forgotten not completely yet!.

But it lays now in shards,
A rain of crystal on the floor!.
Reflecting the only thing that's there,
A locked and sealed door!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Very good!. They rhyming was wonderful, its often that I'm turned off from a rhyming poem, because it seems that the poet sacrafices too much for the rhyme!. But you did a wonderful job!. Perhaps change it to "reflecting all that is left" instead of 'that's', kind of flows better, has the same meter going for it!. also the very last line; it didn't chill me as much as the other lines did!. Perhaps personify the door in some way, like "a locked and lonely door!." Because locked and sealed mean the same thing, and its not needed to say both!. My favorite line was "on fingerprinted glass" it says so much in so little, absolutely brilliant!.

http://strongsoulutions!.wordpress!.com/ho!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have some nice stuff to work with here!. One piece of guidance I'd give is to watch your meter on your rhyming lines and work to make it more consistent with your syllable count!. Read it out loud and you'll hear the bumps!.

I think you could develop it just focus first on the meter!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great Poem! I Wrote Down Some Thoughts On How To Improve Your Poem A Bit Better!.

1!. Where You Say "Forgotten not completely yet" You Could Say" "Yet not to be forgot" So It Flows More!.

2!. Instead Of "Reflecting the only thing that's there" How About " Reflecting none but what it sees"!.

Hope This Helps!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that
Reflecting all that's left "a cold, impenetrable door" would sound better, it's a good piece of work, you have talent, keep writing, MerceeWww@QuestionHome@Com