Comments about the poem I wrote...?

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Question:

I know I already posted this but I wanted to hear more of what people thought!.

Lying in bed
Covered up tight
Your words in my head
Don't sound so right

I feel broken
lost and used
physically tired
emotionally abused

You made me believe
you meant it
You made me see
The world in a different view
You made me think
You'd make me so happy
and that's a sad thing!.!.!.
I won't cry anymore
I feel strong inside
though your just like all the other guys!.!.

We never talk
and when we do
there's no connection
I feel so confused
{what did i do!?}
You said you would
take care of me
treat me right
"i'm here baby"

I don't think you can take
back these tears
they've already felll
so far from you
now its finally clear
that you lied, you dirty thief
you almost took all the life outta me!.!.!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

WOW!thats sooooo gud!.seriously your such a poet!.this poem has a lot of emotion and i think you should publish it!.its great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow thats really good my only suggestion is that you might wana change some of the rhymes cuz it seems like your trying so hard to make things rhymes it messes with the flow and the rythm
its ok i have a problem with rythym in my poems too

and thats really great! how old are you!? you should keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

You will figure this out someday!. My standard advice to aspiring poets is to read, read, read!. Go fall head-over-heels in love with Emily Dickinson, TS Eliot, John Keats and ee cummings!.

EDIT: I know the popups are annoying, but this site has thousands of masterpieces in their archive!.

http://www!.poemhunter!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com

No question is stupid!.!.!.

sorry the dirty thief lied and cheated but that is life!.!. we put a bandage on and move foreward!.

moral of the poem is !.!.!. live and learn!.
Your prose looks like you are trying to create a song, does it have a tune!?
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In my opinion,it is a florid prose!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

niceWww@QuestionHome@Com