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Question: What do think about this poem!?
it's about the first time i tried to kill myself

On a boat out at see
When I'm afraid of drowning
On the edge, I stand tall
Now afraid to fall

Scared too stiff to move or talk
I find it hard to even walk
Sweat rolls down on my face
Although it's freezing in this place

I finely find the nerve to jump
And though it's seconds, it feels like hours
Untill I touch the water
I'm sinking down and I feel pain
Yet happy feelings, I can't contain
I'm losing patice
I just want to die

Somebody then, lifts me up
Damn this "hero" for "saving" me
Don't they know, it's what I want!?
Now everyone will make sucha fuss
I guess I'll come back tomorrow Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Love your writing, it is full of pain,and someone who is really asking for help!. I echo the first user, when can we see your attempt to live!?

I also came so close to killing myself once that I was taken to a hospital for a consultation with a doctor, but not committed!. So I can understand the pain you are in because I have been there more then once myself!. Reach out when you are like that again!.You will find people who do care!. I care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I Give Thanks to God,that this Angel,came to Your rescue! Life is good if You look on the sunny side! With Prayer and a good shrink,I know that You will come to realize just how precious life is!! You do show talent!! Use it and try to write about happier things!! It will make You feel better about Yourself,and Your LIFE!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Now, we would expect a poem about
the first time
you tried
to live!.Www@QuestionHome@Com



I thought about jumping
but I changed my mind
for the dread I saw after
was much horrible to my surmiseWww@QuestionHome@Com

WoW !. i know its not a good thing but i love how you make it all so casual at the end : ) hope everything is okay nowWww@QuestionHome@Com

This poem is very creative!. It is written in couplets, that is two rhyming lines, but it has several spelling errors!. Try to correct the errors and the rhymes where they are shown!. Some of the lines that need changes in the rhyming or in the spelling are recorded here!. You have a choice accept them or not!. That is up to you!.

1) On a boat, out at sea,
I am afraid, poor me, poor me!.
On the edge, I stand tall!.
But who it is that I should call!?

2) I find it hard even to walk!.
Too scared and stiff even to talk!.

3) Finally, I find the nerve!.
Jumping as I wind and swerve,
then I feel it, Its the water!
Will I become a sea otter!?
I'm sinking down and feeling pain!.
Still happy feelings, I can't contain!.
I am loosing it and want to cry!
Did I really want to die!?

4) Somebody, then lifts me up!?
Damn this hero for the wakeup!
Didn't he know just what I wanted!?
And after all, why wasn't it granted!?
Now every one will make a fuss!.
Should I pretend to cuss and cuss!?

Www@QuestionHome@Com

For you I hope there is no tomorrow
If it comes you will have caused too much sorrow!.
"Damn" that hero for saving your life
Would it have been better for him to cut you with a knife!?

Today you live!.
Tomorrow you wish to die!.
You won't see tomorrow until God takes you to the sky!.
For every time you get the nerve to jump
Step back a moment before you start
Look in the mirror and ask you heart
Why Am I ready to die!?
Consider the choices that you make
Taking your own life is the worst mistake!.Www@QuestionHome@Com