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Question: Does this sound like a good poem!?
Its called "Broken Canvas"
When the sky is like a photograph
with a purplish gray
striking the golden masterpiece
and blues and whites
splattered accross the broken canvas
the clouds have a meaning
and the soft blue spots whisper gently
when the sky is like a photograph
the clouds dance around
lazily in the breeze of the sweet summer day
and the sun sits around
inching along every hour
and the wind pushes away
everything in its path
always in a hurry
when the sky is like a photographWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I couldn't get the picture in the first few lines, but it really picked up on "the clouds have meaning" line and all the way to the end and I really got the "always in a hurry", that is so true!. If I could just suggest, I would describe the sky a little better like you did the clouds and the breeze, that was great!. I think it was that the purplish gray vs the blue and whites painting 2 different pictures, maybe that was the broken canvas, am I catching on!? Anyway, yes it does sound like a good poem!. Thanks!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I'd leave out photograph and instead use an artists canvas!. on line 5 i'd use enlivened canvas!. but i'm an artist not a poet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like! i really like the line the c louds dance around i love thatWww@QuestionHome@Com
i think thats lovely very artistic!.
well done
Becca
xWww@QuestionHome@Com
yeh its ok is that !.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
i really like this
it makes you think
keep up the good workWww@QuestionHome@Com