Position:Home>Poetry> A poem please rate, it is s[eical ?
Question: A poem please rate, it is s[eical !?
this is made up, it comes from the heart!.!.
i was there
then there was
and then i saw the sun
and the clouds were over the sun
i couldnt see that rainbow
i said mom do you see the sun
she was like um no son
and the rain came
i cried and cried
the sun said oh no young las dont cry
i will come shine on the good souls next week
i waited and waited
that morning of the next week on the next day
the sun said good morning jose we are gonna have a soul of a day
i cried and cried
and the sun was back
and i was exstatic
we were gonna play today
and oatmeal for brakfast
what do you think!? i would like honest opions, i want to become a famous writer and make money!.!.!.!.!. im 24, do i have a chance!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I didn't think it was bad!. Although is your name Jose or something, because if it isn't that part seemed a bit odd!. Not to mention ending with and oatmeal for breakfast just didn't seem to make sense either!. I thought it was interesting, it's not going to bring you fame and glory or anything either though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it is truly a poem from the heart!. you should go for it!. write what is in your soulWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's good :] Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's good!. but try not to repeat the same words a lot!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a nice poem!. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life now!. This was good expression of those feelings!.
The poem had no form that I am aware of!. I think that it has much more meaning for you personally but as art it does not convey a meaning to the reader!. You need to read it again as if you have never seen it before and start over!. Don't hang your hat on writing in this economy!. The market would kill your soul!. I would suggest much more reading and see what others have done that have success in this realm!. You should put this passion into a relationship!. Www@QuestionHome@Com