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Question: In need of help finishing this poem: any ideas!?
Silence screams…!.!.
Through the emptiness of space/
Life in time is equal to the gastrotrich
A fleeting chance
And a cancer of Nature
As the wind blows
It carries the memories
Of us all
Caught in a vacuum
Spun out in time
Riveting prospects
That failed to materialise
An experiment gone wrong
Which humanity abused
The Mother cries
Her children delinquent
Adolescent minds
Controlling her demise
Picking at the scraps
Of a long dead carcass
Short term sustenance
Desperate to survive
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
a letter written in our hearts, and everyone can read it and recognize the desperate desire which failed life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the poem!.!. I think that you could just leave the finishing of this poem the way it is--yeah I know what you mean; it feels just a teensy-weensy bit incomplete, although it still has a very profound message!.
I think that you should have something at then ending--the perspective of a main character!. What the character feels and sees; his or her emotions!. That creates a huge difference on the quality of your peice!. I'm not a genius at writing poems!. I obviously never wrote professionally (seems like you do, though!) but as an ordinary reader, I would definitely like to see that!.
You write really good you know! Keep it up, 5/5!.
Hope I helped! =DWww@QuestionHome@Com
Its a beautiful piece, I don't know how you would finnish it!. I sort of like it left at that, it's mysterious!. Maybe end it something like;
Picking at the scraps
Of a long dead carcass
Short term sustenance
Desperate to survive
A short lived pleasure,
Turned grey, the transience of life
Burns through her eyes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it's fine, but could use a little more by way of description, rather than just a listing of outrages!. And I would like to see a little leaven, since the destruction is not done just for sheer greed but from ignorance as well, and not with purely evil motives!. But as for the end, I think that's very fit, and powerful, and is the bottom line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The irresistible force
The immovable object
A silent scream
When they collide
That was what sprung to my mind, taking into account your opening line - Silence screams through the emptiness of space!. Kind of brings it back to the original thought!? Mind you, I don't do poetry!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it should be left just as it is!. That is a perfect end to it!. It"s succinct!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes, I think I can refer you to The Priory!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i say your you good to end it right there, kick butt poem by the way!Www@QuestionHome@Com