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Position:Home>Poetry> What is your opinion of my first "Monorhyming Memory" poem?Question: What is your opinion of my first "Monorhyming Memory" poem!? A Monorhyming Memory by Elaine Polin Earth’s skies seem empty, dull tonight, For Moon and stars do not shine bright, The world still turns, but feels not right, Perhaps because he’s gone!. I soldiered to that shining knight, Whose soaring words proffered delight, A palette sent from Heaven’s height, Now clouds he strides upon!. He travels at the speed of light, Forever distant, out of sight, His image burns, I hold it tight, Though he must travel on!. The journey’s long, I feel great fright, On wings of words he’s taken flight, But fin’lly home he will alight Before another dawn!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I see that you have, every time, Ended each line with identical rhyme!. I do not think that is a crime Nor does it make a poem sublime!. So changing the rhyme of each final line Seems like a pretty good idea to moi!. Www@QuestionHome@Com I like the poem!. I'm confused though!. My Poetry source (site) says : "A Mono-rhyme is a poem in which all the lines have the same end rhyme"!. Maybe yours is a "memorian quatrain monorhyme"!.!. idk Maybe the site (link) is crap !? http://www!.tictoc!.org/poetry_project!.htm Edit: I had to look up the meaning of the form to comment on it!. (the form) I'm not too worried, though :)Www@QuestionHome@Com This is lovely with only a touch of poignant wistfullness, and fully adult emotion!. The rhyme scheme is interesting, when it dawned on my benighted mind that about 5 months ago I wrote one with the same aaab layout which I am going to repost now!. Thank you as always for your lessons and your beautiful poetry!Www@QuestionHome@Com Evidently this is not a true monorhyme as I was told the lines should all rhyme and yet yours the 4th lines of each stanza are rhyming only with each 4th line!. So waht is this variation!? I am really inquisitive and would like to know please!. I am just learning and I was corrected for doing what you have done here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Thank you for holding, our operator will be with you shortly, please enjoy Kenny G while you wait!.!.!.!. I just deleted a dumb comment!. (yes another one)!.!.!.it just seemed like in the second half the lines were shorter but now I read them out loud I hear they are not so!. This is a very good example of the rhyme carried through and a last verse line variant!. I like it a lot!. All there's left to say is "Orrright! Go EP!" Alternate Title: Monorhymes are made of thisWww@QuestionHome@Com I must admit, I've had little time or ambition for poetry lately, I'm glad I took the time to read this!. Hopefully when life allows I will be able to relax and enjoy poetry again!. I truly enjoyed this poem!. To me that means at least there is hope!Www@QuestionHome@Com very interesting reading and i felt no "reaching" for the rhymes as usual, it is quite the delight being a part of your class, thank youWww@QuestionHome@Com Elaine, for the first read, I was captured by your ryhming technique!.!.!.don't know if I've seen this before!. And you did this like second nature to you!. On second read, my heart broke with you and for you!. Good Morning!Www@QuestionHome@Com Tender and sad and deep longing, all held gently in the grasp of a fascinating rhyme scheme that is dealt with perfectly! Thank you for the poetry and the view of style!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I know this longing, still we survive and remembered love carries us on some how!. Lovely poem, something is always missing, heart full and empty at the same time, yet pain is less intense!.Www@QuestionHome@Com My very favorite line is "I soldiered to that shining knight!." Nice job using a traditional rhyming format!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like this rhyme scheme, it seems to flow better than most!.Www@QuestionHome@Com All I want to say is, "Soldier On" At Ease!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I don't care what you call it, I liked it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Without a doubt, profound and beautiful!. What more can I say!?Www@QuestionHome@Com My opinion of it is this: I likes it!. This, to me, is poetry; it is pleasant to the ears and soft on the palette (yes, I had to use that word; it was better than tongue)!. The "readability" of it is smooth--I tripped over nothing!. It plainly conveys emotions through its almost diegetic syntax (You might need to use your imagination for how I'm using that word "diegetic"), and paints concrete, vivid images of images that are in reality intangible!. AND, punctuation has not been ignored (not entirely correct, but not ignored)!. I'll assume you had your reasons!. The only thing I'd like to critique would be the title!. Why not just: A Memory!? Edit: I was thinking you probably just did that for the sake of the question anyway!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |