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Question: What do you think of my poem!? I wrote it in literally five minutes!.!.!.!.!?
"Someone"

Someone you'll always love!.
Someone I'll never be!.
Wish I could be like her!.
Wish you could see me!.

So I'm just standing by,
Waiting for my chance!.
To be someone's one thing
That'll make them dance!.

We're too alike to be,
Too afraid we'll die!.
Things might be different
If we'd only try!.

But I know it's not fate!.
That for one is clear!.
Yet I'll still keep dreaming,
Keep fighting the fear!.

Who knows of tomorrow!?
I'll just have to wait!.
'Cus maybe tomorrow
I will celebrate!.

A brand new beginning
Littered with the old
Isn't my ideal,
But I'll grab a hold!.

It's the only chance left;
I have to accept!.
Even though, my dear one,
Me you'll still reject!.













Thanks for reading that!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.any comments are appreciated (yes, even criticizm) ! also, if anyone DOES like it!.!.!.it's copyrighted!. Thanks again! ~ChrisWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
First, you should not be thrilled over having only spent five minutes with it, hurrying only lets you come up with the same standard rhymes everybody has used up pretty much for aspiring writers today!.

"'Cus maybe tomorrow" goes, you don't get that much writers privilege, there is no other slang or colloquial offered, makes you sound thirteen!.

And the ending is weaker, not stronger like it should be you might have to kill somebody off!.

Still, it's a pretty good poem!. Even with the simple meter and rhyme your distress is plain, that's good!. Write more!. Practice!.
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it's really good and five minits wow you really have some natural talent!. dont be afraid to write more and if you look you can make a few bucks off them Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think you're in love with someone!.!.!.
ur poem is really nice and i think it really expresses what you feel towards someone!.!.!.
i like it!.!.!.
: -)

i hope i'm a good writer like you!!!

just keep on moving forward!
okie!?

: -)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Outstanding! I think poems that dont rhyme are your type of thing - no offence i dont think you will be good at ones that rhyme though!. This poem is very beautiful - but i have one thing in mind, the 5th verse is a bit too happy i think for the rest of the poem and it ruins the!.!. feeling!. juts try to edit the words a bit in that verse and that is wonderful! It has a specific feeling - like there is a person left out who isnt liked but who wants to be another person!. Well written!.


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