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Question: Which is a better line for the poem!?
By the way this is just one stanza!. It's about me and some guy in a fight (fictional of course :P)!.

He's now so near I feel his breath,
The smell of hard work
Will bring him to his death,
And wipe away that derisive smirk!. OR

Something with lurk or berserk possibly!. Thanks :D Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Definitely and wipe away that derisive smirk
it sounds good and makes senseWww@QuestionHome@Com

Either the way you have it now or "or make him go berserk" or something to that effect!. I would also add another word or two into the second line, as in "The smell of my hard work" if you are referring to yourself!. It is slightly more humorous the way you have it if you want to be writing a slightly funny poem!. "derisive smirk" doesn't go well in a serious setting, however!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

also wipe him away ere he goes beserk

do not start a sentence with

;;and''


SCORPIOS ARE ONE OF THEIR OWN KIND

Scorpios of the whole wide world everyone knows, are

Capable leaders of war, politics, leadership and merit

Only the Scorpios deserve to inherit, the place of power,

Remove them from your sight and you will lose for sure,

Potential leaders from the world and at your cost too

Individual Scorpios are the ones so secure and strong

Oh my god your friend and boyfriend are Scorpios too!.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALL SCORPIOS TO YOU


From …………………………………………………!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

that sounds good check this out

hes now getting close
we're breathing the same air
wish he'd clean his freakin teeth
try and redevelop a new stare
this one hes got is makin me shake and it hurts
could of picked on someone else now your dead in the dirt

Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like "and wipe away that derisive smirk" it's funny, yet can be taken as seriousWww@QuestionHome@Com