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Question: Rate this poem! A superb easy question!!?
Hey peoples!. I'm doing an acrostic poem on Shakespeare!. I've done it and I wan't you guys rate it from 1-10 and give me some comment so I can improve!. Thanks a lot

Below this is the poem I made:

Stratford the place of his birth
He was born to be one of the brightest, greatest, loneliest shining stars on earth
A destiny of love chained him and Anne Hathaway
Kindness of her heart was like a sweet heaven on earth display
Ever since he started chasing the far away a burning comet dream
Stage and drama was his life main theme
Pale white colour shown in his beloved son’s face
Eclipse and darkness has called Hamnet away without leaving a trace
A grief over his death may be never ending but dead never resurrect
Realizing that family weight and cost more than anything you can collect
Enough honour and fame he had gain more than any body in life timeWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
About the nicest thing I can say is that you spelled Shakespeare correctly!.

Where to start!?

A destiny is the wrong metaphor for love, a bond would be better, or a shackle!.
The next line reads like a grammatical car crash,sorry!
The line after makes almost no sense at all -did you mean he chased a dream, a far away burning comet, a star!?
Stage and drama WERE the themes of his life or WERE his life's main themes!.
What does his son have to do with anything!? This line appears from nowhere, says nothing, and disappears again!.
It's Hamlet, and Hamlet was a character in one of his plays, how can he be called away somewhere by 'eclipse and darkness' and what does it have to do with Shakespeare!?
What is 'A grief'!? and 'but dead never resurrect'!?
I have no inkling of what the next line could be about, it is too jumbled to bother pulling apart!.
The final line is almost as bad!.

Sorry, but this is not poetry and it hardly qualifies as english!.

Some people will say the meaning or intent is the most important thing but that's the same as saying you can race a Grand Prix on roller blades!.

You need to get a handle on coherent sentence structure first, develop an idea of what you want to write about and then put it down in a recognisable format so others can decipher it!. This doesn't make it I'm afraid!.

The example above from Komcocz, whilst displaying a certain lexicographical dexterity, is also guilty of massively overdoing the alliteration to the point of rendering it almost unreadably annoying!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You say Shakespeare was born great!.

I agree with you!. But I suppose we could say he was born with capacity for greatness, and made himself so great that he has become immortal!.

My rating 5!.5

My suggestion : Keep the poem with you and keep polishing it off and on!. Do this to all your poems!.

Lovers of poets and poetry are lovers of humanity!. I'm sure you are one!. I honour you for that !

All the Best to you in Life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice poem!.I'll give 8!.5!.The words,the spelling,all good!.The main thing is,what you want to tell to the readers!.Make sure you express it with the right words,and not making it as a lame and boring poem!.Yours is good!.Keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Excellent! the word count (syllablistic count) is suburb!. My poems are also based on this concept!. Makes for that "flow" I want!.

Example,



Another Play Day
We all purchase prohibited pleasures and malign memories maybe we can treasure, liaisons lacking any Love that we may measure, we’re the passing phantoms of the night,
Is it gladness, sadness or madness making its way through the crumbling cross-linked corridors of our minds cajoling us criminals as we commit all of our crimes just out of each others sight,
Who worships the time been wasted, it is us who touched a tongue to but not tasted, aware we’ve acquiescently assassinated all allowance of our time here on this Earth,
Perched perilously upon the precipice of the people’s pit, dangerously dangling our tired dogs over their deep sh*t, quirkily questing after the question why we don’t just quit at the moment of our birth,
Masochistically most of us have mastered this destructive decoupage of disaster, taught by semi-elected a**holes in halls of alabaster, brutal, beastly bitches and bastards always up to feast or fight,
To us Doomsday is just another play day, kind of like a phoney pharisaic payday foretold by prophets who were just a little shady, now their followers recite rustic rhetoric, regurgitating the words “save me” while praying their wrongs will be changed to rights,
Hence our half-hearted half measures in life’s malays are methodically mocking our attempts at arresting the slippery slide into the grave, and this all happens right before the naked eye,
Draw a duce, joker or one-eyed jack, factuality fully insures the deck always against us is stacked, with desperate displays of dramatized disillusionment many refuse to accept the fact that one-day they will die!.
MadmanINK
Joel Beauette
Copyright ?2006JoelBeauette

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