Parts one and two, if you are so inclined!.
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The Middle Begins (Part Three)
The doors remained closed for nearly two years, until a phone call opened them!. It was Dad's voice, but strangely, I saw only his eyes!. He said would I please come home, they were expecting the son of a family friend to arrive shortly and they didn't know what to do with him!. His family had been our neighbors, military, of course, from years before!. They were a fine, upstanding family, he being one of their two twins who graduated from the United States Naval Academy, and had just finished two tours in Nam!. "Please, come home, we have to show him a good time!."
It was in May!. We sat in cool backyard family pool, both he and I!. I 21, he 26!. He told me I was the first girl he had seen since returning from the war!. It was a May to December romance, no internet back in '71!. He courted me by phone and letters, he attending Purdue University for his master's degree (gratis free from the Navy) and me finishing my undergrad work at Arizona State University (gratis only by me)!. After that initial meeting, we shared only two weeks face to face, one week in August when he proposed at Sky Harbor Airport and one week before the wedding!.
His proposal words!? Standing at gate number 7, his lucky number, he said, he spoke these words to me, "If you marry me, we'll spend much time saying hello and goodbye at airports like this, but if you don't mind, I'd like you in my life!."
What did he see in me!? He was tired of the death he still carried from the war and wanted to get on with his life!. What did I see in him!? Someone who seemed to want these damaged goods that I was!. I, too, was tired of feeling the death I carried from my own private war and wanted to get out of dodge!. The ticket he offered, I gladly accepted and couldn't wait for my flight out of hell!.
I discovered his emotions were paralized from the very beginning!. Anything felt at all lead to his River Patrol nightmares!. So rather than reexperience them, he just shut down feeling anything!. At all!. No joy, no pain, no peace, no stress!. Just a zombie who lived to perform honorably in his beloved his career!. I foolishly thought time would heal, that this was just a short term cure!. But after 25 years of being married and alone, I realized it was his lifetime code!.
And like my mother, I stayed for the kids!. Like her, my children heard my nightly cries in bed!. Like her, I tried to end my pain thrice!. Like her, I eventually walked away!. Not into a lover's arms, just away!. Away to be alone, but never to be lonely again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com