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Question: Poetry review on a poem!?
Closing:
A cloudy Night-
The moon with its glowing light
The fog creeps in
Now the fun will begin
Shadows of all around
Showing things that can't be found
A restless Street-
Houses and yards so quaint, so neat
Little ones running around the blocks
Some without shoes or socks
Screaming, laughing, playing around
Little Jamie can't be found
A Cemetery-
A place where people visit rarely
Rows of crosses, columns, and lots
Down in boxes the flesh rots
A new grave dug yesterday
This is where little Jamie is to stay
Death closes All-
Emptiness consumes us with each call
Beneath the ground where phantoms meet
Shadows dance through the street
Innocents of a child is a loss
Marked and remained beneath a crossWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Not to be mean, but it's a little confusing to me!. I get it that it's about a child who is possibly taken by ghosts!? I guess!? But you can't show things that can't be found!. I think you meant innocence not innocents!. Marked and remained under a cross unless this is a grave stone and this is where the child lies now why is he there!? Now you've got beneath the ground where phantoms meet then shadows dancing in the street!. You need some sort of connection between the two because it doesn't click if you can see this!. I see the idea behind this!. It could be really good if you just ironed out some of the kinks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
innocence was spelled wrong!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It rhymes gr8
U had been successful in creating the images of what u wrote in the Readers Mind
Gr8 JobWww@QuestionHome@Com