CANDLE
the fire flawlessly wobbles on the wick
the light that blends well into darkness
glows a dim
but blows a wind
light unlits
and in an instants blacks out the view Www@QuestionHome@Com
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the fire flawlessly wobbles on the wick the light that blends well into darkness glows a dim but blows a wind light unlits and in an instants blacks out the view Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Well, I know what a candle looks like in the dark but you haven't really caught it yet!. What is a glows a dim!? What blows a wind!? Light unlits is bad grammar!. I'm the reader and I don't understand what you are saying!. I have 25 years of writing behind me!. Tell me a better story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Hummm!.!.!.i can picture the image because you describe a simple image!. Like saying "the leaves blow and one falls on the cold ground" What is the essence of your poem!? If it's meant to just describe the candle and how it blows!.!.!.then it is good!. *Keep writing! ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com |