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Question: Poem ,i hope you like ,please be gentel i m not a native speaker and i write what is in my heart!?





She rocks back and forth
The doll is bleeding in her hand
She cries silently to keep the doll
Sleeping
She wish she could sleep
Though
The sun is gone
And as it came again
The doll is still sleeping
And she keeps rocking back and forth
The song of death sneaks into her lips
The hand of darkness slapped her hard
The fingers are shown in her veins
Stop she screams stop, it hurts so much
I laugh in front of them yes
I cook and dance and pretend
But it hurts badly
The doll gets and walks away
While she rocks back and forth
Tears steamed with fire of heart
And no one could seem to notice
My heart ,my heart is burning I smell fire
My ribs are the cage
Please help me ,she drinks water
But what could stop the fire of loss
The hurt and pain
The ignorance idiots that surround her
She is tired of faked sympathy
She wants to be crushed into his arms
She knows she could forget every bad moment
With him
But its over, and she will pack and goes with the other
Because simply
Life isn’t what we want, its never like that
She puts some lipstick and force a smile on her face
And get out showing them how happy she is
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very, very good!! I write poetry myself!.!.!.this has a very powerful message!. Very intriguing!
My favorite line: "My ribs are the cage"
Keep writing!
English is not my first language either!.!.!.!.!.!.!.it's portuguese!.!.so, never give up! Read a lot!.!.!.it helps! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow, i feel like you've really experienced what you're writing about!. very powerful!. and writing what is in your heart is the best thing to do!. if you don't feel it, it isn't real!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your poem is very sad but I like it, you have a lot of talent!. I hope this is not how you feel!. Thank you for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i loved this!.!.!.well done!.!.!.
it's sad and powerful and absolutely excellent
thank you for sharing Www@QuestionHome@Com

I absolutely love this! It has so much meaning!. Honestly, it is one of the best poems I've ever read!. You did such an amazing job! =]Www@QuestionHome@Com