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Question: What do you think!? Please answer, kinda desperate !! !?
Ok, heres my poem for homework!.!.!.!.

Not with the shimmering of the thousand lakes underneath the autumn sky,
Did I find it!.
Nor with the blowing of the gentle wind,
I don’t deny,
I could not find it!.
Not under the cover of the leaves could I reveal,
What it was I wanted to feel!.
Not in the vibrations of the ground,
Nor in the turning of the Earth,
Could I say it was profound!.
Not at the undiscovered ends of the world,
Was my mystery unfurled,
Only when I stopped searching the depths of the roaring sea,
Only when I searched my mind,
Did I find,
My inspiration lying in wait for me!.

I think the ryming thing might be a bit off!.!.but let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions, I would be grateful to hear them = ]Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is how I would Use your Words!.:

Not with the shimmering of A thousand lakes,
Beneath the Autumn Sky!.
Nor with the blowing, of the gentle Wind!.
This I can't deny!.

Not under the Blanket,
Of the Leaves I could reveal!.
What it was, I so wanted,
To Feel!.

No Vibrations , of the ground!.
No turning of the Earth!.
Undiscovered Worlds ends,
My Mystery a Blur!.

Only when I stopped,
The Depths of Roaring Sea,
Only when I searched,
In memories of me!.

I Found my Inspiration,
For All I longed to be!.



You have a great foundation here for verse!.I hope you liked my version!. Sometimes,making a sentence shorter and trying less to be precise in rhyming,You will find Words come together making better sense!. Of course this is just my opinion!. I Think you did Well!.

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Although some rhymes are irregular, I don't feel it detracts at all!.

If anything, could the first line also read:

Not in the shimmering of a [or "one"] thousand lakes!.!.!.

Still love it though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

your rhyming might be off in the first few lines, but then it may very well be ok, it does sound very nice!.!.!.!. take the IT off the 5th line!.!.perfect!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good for homework;)) Really nice and full of talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

uia!.!.como vim parar aqui!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I "love" it!.!.!.Good Job!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

To be very sincere!.!.!.!.!. I liked you poem!. I've read 3 times to be very sure of what I'm going to tell you!.

I'm going to copy it to make some small changes!. Okay!?

Not with the shimmering of (the) thousand lakes underneath the autumn sky,
Did I find it!.
Nor with the blowing of the gentle wind,
I don’t deny,(escape this sentence!. Not needed)
I could not find it!.
Not under the cover of the leaves could I reveal,
What it was I wanted to feel!.(no need of this sentence)
Not in the vibrations of the ground,
Nor in the turning of the Earth,
Could I say it was profound!. (escape this sentence)
Not at the undiscovered ends of the world,
Was my mystery unfurled,(escape, again)
Only when I stopped searching the depths of the roaring sea,
Only when I searched my mind,
Did I find (IT)
My inspiration lying in wait for me!.

So!.!.!.!.!. with the changes!.!.!.!.!.

Not with the shimmering of the thousand lakes
underneath the autumn sky layes,
I did it find!.
Nor with the blowing of the gentle wind,
I could not find it!.
Not under the cover of the leaves could I reveal,
Not in the vibrations of the ground,
Nor in the turning of the Earth,
Not at the undiscovered ends of the world,
Only when I stopped searching the depths of the roaring sea,
Only when I searched my mind,
I did it find,
My inspiration lying in,!.!.!.
waiting for me!.

What's the title!? Maybe *My inspiration*

Beautiful! Loved! Congratulations!.
My very best to you!.
LIGHT BRIGHT FOREVER!



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