Please Read And Critique? :)?

Position:Home>Poetry> Please Read And Critique? :)?

Question:

I don't know how to fix it
I don't know where to start
What can someone do, for a dying broken heart!?

Because it keeps on getting trampled
and it Keeps on getting torn!.
Proving the idea, there's no reason to be born!.

I don't know what I was thinking
I don't know why I tried
I know that you were honest, and never- ever lied!.

We were doomed in the begining
We were doomed the day we met!.
So now the end has come, nothing more to fret!.

I remember those good days
I remember the smiles
At one time, just to see you- I'd walk miles and miles!.

I miss seeing you
I miss holding your hand
But now it's all over, just one more thing- and

Au Revoir- Audios, and Goodbye!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

it was good but it seemed a bit too dramatic!.!.!.i guess that's a good thing but it didn't feel like it was really your thoughts!. it also was a bit scattered without a clear theme to me!. i may just be saying this because i usually don't like sad peoms but overall it was good!. just add a bit more realistic feeling!. good luck!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. It seems like more of a song to me!. I like that kind of repetition of the first lines you've got going on there and rhythm of the whole poem/song!.

Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com