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Question: Hat do you think of these poems!?
Okay, I have two and the first isn't done I just can't figure out what else I should add and how!. The second I'm done writing but I want to improve it!. If you have any suggestions that'd be great! But, I want to read your opinions, please!!

That casket close
long ago!.
The memory
hung on the wall
to be questioned
and seen by all!.

Your words penatrate
what's left of my sanity!.
A diary locked;
Secrets hidden!.
Her silent cry for help!.
Heard only by the voices
that hide in her mind!.

A daughter as the villian
and mommy as a saint!.
A war she can never win!.
Deep breaths of slumber
of who makes her
cry herself to sleep every night!.
Blood drips; Breaths of slumber!.
A sweet game of releif!.

Her thoughts repeat!.
All once was happy, you know!.
Where did those smiles hide!?
All too fast
did they disapear in my childhood hour!.
!. !. !.
That's so far on this one!


Another Way to Die
Your touch
sends tingles down my spine
to paralyze!.

Your kiss
makes my heart skip a beat
into a heart attack!.

Knowing how much you care
makes my heart float up in the air
and hit by a plane in it's blind love!.

Being loved by you
makes me speechless
and holds my tongue down my throat!.

I'm a fool out of love!.
All these beautiful things you do
are just another way to die!.

That's the last one! It's not like the other person loving them and they die gruesomly because of it!. It's that there love and things are so strong!. Hope that makes sence!. And I need some help on the title for the first one, too, haha if you think of anything you should tell me! Thanks for reading, guys!!
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
absolutly love the first one!!!!!!! doesn't need anything else! and you could call it "My Childhood Hour!" as for the second one its o!.k off to an amazing start keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com

you have a great start!.!.!. some times writers block is a pain!. if you feel your self getting writers block take a break, or read other peoples poetry and it may help you out!

Good luck!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds great! Posting it on here hope no one steals it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

they're pretty cool!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your a really good poet!Www@QuestionHome@Com

cool i like it!.!. last 3 lines mad cool others too keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com