Position:Home>Poetry> This poem that i wrote?
Question: This poem that i wrote!?
i really dont care if you hate it because its just a poem i have to do for 8th grade!.
When We Were Young!.!.!.
when we were young!.!.!.!.
everyone was together
nobody cared how you looked or what you wore
us, kids thought it would be like that forever
when we were young!.!.!.!.
we learned our ABC's and 123's
we sang a moo! moo! moo here and a moo! moo! moo! there!
we played house with our plastic toy keys
when we were young!.!.!.
after all the shapes and rhyms
we went to the giant playgroung and player for the rest of the schoolday
the ones that got in trouble had to pay there time
But now were older!.!.!.
more rights that comes with responsibilities
being brighter and boulder
can you tell me things to add that would be better!?
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it, it's cute!.!.!.
enter it in A Celebration Of Young Poets!.!.!.
it could be published!.!.!.
I have 2 poems published
much luck!! Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it !.!.think it's great work for 8th grade
( alot better then i did way back then )
in the 3rd stanza 'there' should be "their"
maybe some other misspellings but i'm horrible at spelling
not sure if you got this on the copy you'll be handing in !.!. but make sure you capitalize the start of sentences!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's really good!. I might add more about being older though to kinda balance it out!. Not too much is needed, as it seems you want to make a quick comparison between being older and younger with more emphasis on the younger days!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yeah, its very insightful!. I like it!.
It creates a very good picture of youth, i believe!.
I like the second stanza!. the rhyme is very nice!.
By the way!.!.!.I think you are thinking bolder!.!.!.not boulder!. A boulder is a huge rock!.
I could be wrong though! Www@QuestionHome@Com
GOODWww@QuestionHome@Com