Position:Home>Poetry> Needs help with poem?

Some suggested tidying up, but unfortunately not as brief as yours:

The Man

A movie that kidnaps you into the far, far away,
And is famous from future and back to this day!.
Tale of an adventurous young wise-guy,
And of his flights through the sky;
Faithfully attended by his friend, a Wookie,
Who, wild and feared by others, was no rookie!.

Through danger, a blaster ever at his side;
He could walk, he could run, he could glide!.
As his cunning, so his hair was slick!.
To be ahead of the game, that's the trick!.

Then he met his fate, a princess!
She was hard pressed, and in distress,
Her cheap dress white, she a total mess;
But she was his type, I guess!.
They hitched, and I could say more, but I should say less!.


Whatever the tidying up here, its all yours!. Change what you wish!.

You asked for help and bravely advised your failings (admirable)!.
I enjoyed Starwars, it was for fun, of times and cultures to be and forgotten; about possibilities to experience and to keep us from going rotten!.

Keep having fun, express yourself!. There are many birds in the trees and each has something to say and each says it in a different way!. Keep learning technique and practice, and, despite the negative background noises (there are wolves in the forest, little Red Ridding Hood), sing, dance and shout to the world!. Good luck sparrow!.
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It's start definitely!. Remember, nobody started high up there!. They started out new and inexperienced, then worked their way up step by step and eventually were on top!.

Anyway, I'll try rewording a few things and throw in a couple new things!. Don't want to try and change your poem completely since it is yours, but here's what I think on the spot:

In a movie far, far away,
That is still famous,
There was this guy,
Who flew throughout the beautiful skies,
With a faithful wookie,
Who was no rookie,
A blaster at his side prepared for anything he faced,
And a walk, or possibly a swift glide,
His hair was slick,
that's the trick, isn't it!?
Then he met a beautiful princess in rags!.
A bad first sight you may say,
but a inexpressible inside!.
His type I guess!.
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one thing you might consider is to match up the number of syllables in the rhyming lines - some match and some don't - for example!.!.!.

A blaster at his side,
His walk, more of a glide,

the "isn't it" goofs up your flow a little bit, maybe choose a different quote!?!?

overall i think it's very cute, specially if you don't like to write poetryWww@QuestionHome@Com

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Its a start!.!.!. there is one quote I once remembered


"An expert in anything was once a beginner"

So just think about some cool ryming words that people know what it is!.!.!. for etc!. what the heck is a wookie!?

but good start for sure :D Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Burn it!.

Stop writing about pop culture, and start writing about how you view the world!.

P!.S!. it's not a poem, it's prose!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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