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Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my poem? (I'm 14)?Question: What do you think of my poem!? (I'm 14)!? Look for me in the sky, my love
On a night such as this When the stars glaze the heavens And the air is cool to the skin There I sit watching over the world With a soft, silvery glow A beacon of light for the lost and the thoughtful And a path for the wandering I am a guardian of the light For I am born from the sun And without it I am nothing An undiscovered truth shrouded in darkness You are my sun And your smile my light You are my warmth You guide me through the nightWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Not bad for 14!. Good for you!. But one mistake stands out, you are talking about the sun which is not around "through the night!." You were not rhyming prior to that stanza, so don't start now!. Change the final line and it's a decent poem!. Everyone writes about love and you may be talented enough to try something different!. I wrote the funniest poem about liver when I was 12!. My parents forced me to eat it and I hated it!. The best writing comes from that which you have experienced!. Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good for 14, you express yourself clearly!. Some good imagery going on!. What about punctuation!? Where you put the commas and full stops has a lot to do with the flow, the rhythm, and the overall feel!. Punctuate it like you want to read it, i!.e!. when you are reading poems read to the punctuation and not to the end of the line in a sing-songy style!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Two points!.!.!.not about the poem, but in how you present it!. 1!. Your age isn't relevant!. You don't want to write well for "14", you just want to write well, no matter what your age!. 2!. Use just one exclamation point!. Using a few of them is unprofessional, and will limit how seriously your writing is taken by editors!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Whoa!. I wrote a lot of poems last year but none of them were as good as this one!. **cries** You're wonderful!. Keep it up! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com That's outstanding!. Unfortunately now those lyrics belong to the internet!.!. You might be able to sell your stuff in the future if you really wrote that!. So yeah Internet=bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! That is making me feel like crying!!!! Sniffle sniffle!. That was beautiful!! Too bad their aren't more boys like you around!!Www@QuestionHome@Com Such amusement; It calms me so!. You should reuse The skill you show!.Www@QuestionHome@Com aw its amazingWww@QuestionHome@Com intreasting good but a lil confuseing to me first i thought you were moon then an angle now im not sure owell Www@QuestionHome@Com not badWww@QuestionHome@Com its so good! awwwwwwwwwwWww@QuestionHome@Com |