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Question: Under ashes I lay in sorrow !.!?
This world gets wrapped up in itself!.

As I have fallen prey to lies, time and time again!.

But I won't let this feeling dissolve,

Not this feeling that you give to me from your warm, elegant heart!.

I won't let you go!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

No, not even the strongest vessel could steal you away from me!.

And to let you go would be like an angel ripping out her heavenly incrusted

Feather wings that she has attached to her spine!.



But our faces begin to crack from the ash's touch!.

Our veins begin to wither away under the skin!.

But in this time of hatred and blame,

Let me take in the essence that is you!.

Your lips feel like a piece of heaven!.

I become addicted to you, can't honestly get enough!.

I tremble from this current of feelings that I have never experienced before!.

And I manage to crack a smile!.

Knowing that without you, this would all seem ludicrous!.

Atop this precipice, you make everything go away!.

Disappearing, are the memories that I've come to hate!.

Taking their place, vivid slideshows of you play continuously,

Until I yearn to feel you all over again!.



The ash continues to fall!.

Covering the ground like snow on a cruel winter day!.

But to die here with you, it feels like an honor instead of a tragedy,

Because I know we will ascend to the other side, so beautifully!.

Our broken parts will reassemble during our transference to the divine!.

And as our human forms begin to fade from this unjust world,

I hope you may lend your ear to incoming words that are layered

With my deepest affection!.

Listen closely my dear and to you I will proclaim my strongest love!.

I do not fear death now!.!.!.!.!.no, not with you here at my crumbling side!.

Looking into your eyes I can see much hope and restoration!.

And now as you look into mine,

I can feel the return of a person I had lost!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.myself!.



Under the split sky of black and white

Your face begins its descent into liquid!.

But you still look as beautiful as the day I met you!.

Do not fear this moment!.

Our death!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.just a temporary distraction!.


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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
One of my favorites!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

What is your question!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Once again I'm loving it!. You have a real talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

right whats your question!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Romeo and Juliette set to modern times!. There are fragments that capture my imagination, but there are others that do not!.

Repetition is a real killer in a poem because you only have so many lines, so many words!. Upgrade your vocabulary by using a thesaurus to replace a noun or adjective or adverb that are in close proximity!.

Use single spacing for your poetry because the way it appears, each line is a stanza, and I know that is not what you want!. When you submit your poetry to a publisher, then the correct manuscript format is double spaced, but always update you knowledge about the editors!.

I'd love to see a rewrite!. You have talent, now refine it!.tWww@QuestionHome@Com