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Question: "Break Down My Wall" poem!.!.what do you think!?

~this is a poem me and my best friend made!.!.!.tell me what you think!.!.and if we can change anything!! Thanks!! ?



Think how many years it takes…
To build a solid wall,
Where do I find the courage,
To stand back and watch it fall!?
So many nights of efforts
And distress
I put into cleaning up this mess

Someone help me save myself
From this hurt it will cause
To watch me break away from
All the pain people shed on me

Take away my wall
That keeps building up inside
Protect me
And help me to know
That you won’t leave, like the rest
YOU’LL follow me where ever I go


-Ash!. & Britt!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
powerful wonderful love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

ooo!.!.!.I like this! Love the message, strong emotion!. Needs a little tweaking but it's great! Especially the first stanza!.

I'm an Editor for Strong Truths (http://www!.strongtruths!.wordpress!.com) we just launched a new page Strong SOULutions where you can post your work and gain professional criticism as well as an edit!. Along with comments from other writers!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i agree with joerokk
i really like the lyrics but doesn't really flowWww@QuestionHome@Com

your on the right path, just doesn't flow!. i like it thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com