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Question: Will you comment on my nonet!?
Again, inspired by Evadne Terra to at least attempt!.

A gust of wind has set me free and
As a fallen leaf on water
I drift upon the surface
Aimlessly, observing
Those upon the shore
Deep current pulls
Me down I
Float no
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like the personification of the leaf!.

Those last three lines are hard to nail with the right syllable count, but maybe they could be messed with a bit!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are a leaf at the end of life, unable to control your destiny!. Freed from the tree, more likely ripped from your home on the tree, blown around until you finally fall into a stream where you drift, unable to do anything but watch those on the shore!. Then finally as the water soaks through you, and you sink, the current pulls you to the bottom to join all those who have gone before you in a reunion in death!.

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It is coming along!. I like the simile/personification of the leaf as well as the rhyme 'shore/more!.' The message, however, is confusing to the reader because of the contradictions expressed!. Is the leaf free, aimless and drifting or drowned!? The point of the poem is lost in the confusion of images!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is simple and easy to understand!. This is good because it shows your ability to be coherent while conforming to a marginally repressive form!. Now you need to work on finding more artistic content!. This isn't bad, but the floating leaf is very old news!. A good start!. Quite better, incidentally, than the last I read from Evadne Terra!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Certainly the best poem I've read so far on this site!. It at least shows your ability to think of yourself at one step removed which opens up ideas to the reader!. Good use of metaphor and not excruciatingly self indulgent as is a lot of stuff posted on here!.
Keep it up!. Keep reading and writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The perfect melding of form to content!. I think the ambiguity of freedom vs!. sinking works very well; the descending syllabics of the nonet can paint either the drifting away or the sinking down!. Nice one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. Congratulations!.

Good luck to you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com