Position:Home>Poetry> I would like your thought and opinions on this poem please?

I actually like this poem!. It says a lot about what you are going through!. What I got out of it is that you are basically tired of the way life is for you and you are ready to end your life but unsure if you will make it to heaven!. Asking the ones that you are leaving behind to forgive and forget of the negative memories they may have of you and letting God know that when you come knocking at the gate you will have in hand the lesson he sent you down here for and you hope that just in case you don't have them all he don't send you to hell!. Look I hope that you are really not considering going home on your terms!. you got talent here girlfriend!. You should try to see what you can do with that!. Good LuckWww@QuestionHome@Com

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i cant remember who, but someone famous once said something like "the best poet/writer is always the most tortured of souls"!. You can tick that box, because you certainly have that covered lol its greatWww@QuestionHome@Com

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i like your poems
youve obviously written other poems before this im guessing
sounds like the kind of poems i was writting when i broke up with my ex
hope u dont mind but ive just changed bits here and there
ive spoken to some famous australian song writters
and they have all told me poems and lyrics dont need to have good grammar
they only need to flow when read and get across the smae message

Forever gone but forever yours
Haunted by demons I can no longer stand
If the Lord is merciful and grants me peace
I will be in a better place then here on this land
Death is not perceived as a happy thing
But now that I am gone you can go on living
I punish myself for all my mortal sins
I only hope the Lord will let me be forgiven
When you look back now
Even though it will be hard
negative thoughts of me I hope you disregard
I feel inadequate, my life here on earth
Unable to fit in, wasting another day
Constant feelings of pain and hurt
I will bring with me the lessons I have learned
Hoping in hell I will not burn
I must go now as my tears reluctantly (you should try replacing reluctantly with a simpler shorter word to improve the flow of the poem) pour
Forever gone but forever yours

hope i have helpedWww@QuestionHome@Com

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