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Position:Home>Poetry> Having read Neon's powerful Poem, I decided to post an early work, would youQuestion: Having read Neon's powerful Poem, I decided to post an early work, would you comment!? Gaia
By C!.S!. Scotkin Photographs eloquently spoke of Matricide committed by sentient children refusing to grow sucking loving breasts dry, still crying, “More!” Be still, remove your shoes, you walk on sacred ground!. ?2008 CSS Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Very powerful, though I find the pacing a little bulky!. I won't presume to make any suggestions, since it appears you feel finished with it, but I would have taken a slightly different tack, at least in the way I broke it up!. The wording, however, is practically perfect!. And I would have used the present tense of 'speak,' which gives more immediacy!. But it's very good!. Grannyji, she's referring to humanity's thoughtless rape of the planet's natural resources!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You need a primer on this but once understood, a powerful message!. Yes we do take advantage of Gaia, sucking her dry and killing her instead of learning how to be self sufficient!. One suggestion would be to describe photographs in a different way to add to the story!. I enjoyed this, and a strong message!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I don't understand it!. I've looked up Gaia on the web (Earth mother!?) but the idea of children refusing to leave the breast and eventually being the cause of their mother's death!.!.!.I'm puzzled, especially when linked to something as modern as a photograph!. Or are you saying this is what modern children now do (I've got 4 30ish children who still make quite large demands upon me/us)!.!.!.!.D'oh - how stupid I feel! Thanks KaththeaWww@QuestionHome@Com Yes, I remember this one--Mother Earth used and destroyed by us, her children!. It seems this message is finally being heard around the world!. Let us hope it is not too late!. EDIT: Kaththea--excellent suggestion!Www@QuestionHome@Com I wansumoah!Www@QuestionHome@Com Mmm im trying to rap this around my brain!.!. so the kids killed their mother!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |