Position:Home>Poetry> Help with class poem?
Question: Help with class poem!?
i am in a college poetry class and this is what i am turning in this week, i am a little unsure of how good this one is and am asking for advice, (hopefully within the next hour) Thanks in advance to whomever gives some help!. By the way DONT be afraid to be harsh!
sticks and stones may break my bones!.
they are yet still but small mercies, small mercies!.
The world is too big a kingdom,
And i am too small a man!.
But words, words can never hurt me
This castle is full of tyranny
Have we lost our sense of anarchy!?
Where did the roman-likes go!?
They went the way of the raven, apparently
"never more", "never more"!.
Must we not make haste in such desperate times!?
Must we not stand for what we know is right!?
What is peace!.
what is just!.
What is liberty!?
What is liberty!?
Have we forgotten!.!.!?
These questions go unanswered, ignored
Let me ask them again, or least I implore
Or is it truly nevermore!?
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Lose the cliches, lose the quotes, narrow the focus!. I would throw out the first and last stanzas and go with the middle two, minus the never more refrain!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
I honestly don't think everything ties together, as in using references to Poe and then the Romans, starting out with a common rhyme and and then not really explaining what you want the person to get out of the poem, they should all have a common element and they don't they're just scatter thoughts joined together Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a hodge podge of ideas that doesn't come coherently together!. You need to pick a central topic and then focus on it!. As it is you've gotten into tyranny, liberty, peace, anarchy, a whole bunch of questions that never get answers!. You're trying to send a message, and that's not what poetry is about!.
also, never use quotes in your poem!. If someone else has already something something better than you, than why bother!. I would say don't use quotes until at the very least you've got ten good poems yourself, and have read a couple works by people who've used other peoples words themselves!.Www@QuestionHome@Com