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Question: How does this sound!? !?
ok so do you like this!? it took me awhile to write, and my friends say its really good but im not sure!. also!.!.!. what do you think i should title it!? im having alil trouble with that!. thanx!.
Hallow promises of forever
of always!.
the breaking of your promise
is the shatter of my heart!.
is nothing left!?
but pain with no comfort!?
thats all they tell me,
but could there be more!?
i want to see if there is still a chance,
to see that look in your eyes again
the one that says it all
that gives me hope!.
always this, nothing changes
someone else always in my shoes
a crime of theft,
everything is gone, i am left with nothing
dont you understand,
cant you see!?
you are everything to me,
all i ever wanted!.
masking my pain with a smile,
all i can do to hide,
is to say its fine!.
when i am nothing!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very, good!. Adding in a little punctuation, I suggest as follows:
Hollow promises of forever,
of always!.
The breaking of your promise
- it shatters my heart!.
Is nothing left!?
But pain with no comfort!?
"That's all", They tell me!.
But could there be more!?
I want to see if there is still a chance,
to see that look in your eyes again!.
The one that says it all,
that gives me hope!.
Always this; nothing changes!.
Someone else always in my shoes!.
A crime of theft:
everything is gone, I am left with nothing!.
Don't you understand!?
Can't you see!?
You are everything to me!.
All I ever wanted!.
Masking my pain with a smile;
doing all I can to hide!.
To say, "It's fine"
- when I am nothing!.
This poem of yours deserves a title!. Suggested titles: The Broken Cup; Voice from a Well; The Shattered Heart!.
Hallow means holy, is that meant!? Or Hollow meaning empty!?
Its all yours - keep up the good work; why not try to share a smile with someone with a poem that lifts them up!? Too many people are suffering, they need some cheering up!. When you cheer up others, you help to cheer up yourself!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Omg that's how i feel omg i love it i am going to post my poem up soon i want to know what you think of itWww@QuestionHome@Com
it sounds pretty good, not my taste in poetry, but overall pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like this a lot! It is really good!
I think that you should call it:
What Happened!?
Haha!.!.!.!.my title was lame!!!
Hope I helped!!Www@QuestionHome@Com