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Question: What Do You Think of my Poetry!? !?
Okay, I'm only 14 so don't be too harsh :)
As her last words slipped through her teeth
she wimpered a slured plea
and leaves!. She leaves!.
Her windows had closed!. No more soul seeing!.
A minimal decor creates for the night
in her wedding picture she wearing off white
but now all there is to wear is black and grey
Just a teary color!. An unnoticed shade!.
Please open your eyes
begs a few quietly hiding the hurt inside
I knew that she would wake up
She's sleeping in for a while
With plans for ashes along the isle
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
For 14! you sure have a good idea about poems!
the structure overall is nearly perfect!
and i agree with a comment about rhythm it is very important as it captures the readers attention and draws them in more!
Well done!
however sorry to "nitpick" so to speak
but where you wrote "in her wedding picture she wearing off white"
what do you mean by this phrase!?
'Wearing off white"!?
i just i am not clear on that
but besides that it's good
keep at it!
EDIT
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okay! thanks for the explanation!
i was just not sure WAS not meant as criticism
Happy poem writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lovely!. Abosolutely lovely! My favorite lines are
but now all there is to wear is black and grey
Just a teary color!. An unnoticed shade!.
fantastic rhythm! And I'm 14 too, lol!.
I'm gonna take a swing on what this poem's about!. !. !. Is it about a girl who used to be happy and cheerful, and now she mourns and cries, and doesn't want to live!?
I hope I'm right!. I'm probably not, so why don't you explain it!? It's very beautiful!. Very strong words, I hope you write more!
~ShayleyWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think its great! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love it! You did a great job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it is good and very easy to understand! Www@QuestionHome@Com