Position:Home>Poetry> Will you please review this rough draft?
Question: Will you please review this rough draft!?
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UNTITLED
by TD Euwaite
Reality converts,
depending on your sample rate,
as pixels on a raster
scrape across
the scanning eye,
The sensitive retina
transfers light,
photons to neurons,
and now the mind’s eye
catalogs,
Lust or loathe,
Grope or gobble,
Decisions, decisions…
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, you really should know by now that poems are supposed to rhyme, like this:
Roses are red, violets are blue
margins on Mars are all askew
It's lovely indeed,
but I cannot read,
all the words are
shoved
to the >>>>>>right!.
OK, Ok!.!.!.!.It doesn't all rhyme, but nobody's perfect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds like an article to me!. Why does everyone think they
can write down thoughts and call it poetry!? What ever
happened to rhyming poems!. Maybe that takes more work
and more vocabulary!? Oh well, try to get a few words to rhyme,
then it could be called a poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
In an experiment with rats some years ago, the rats chose food!.For people there are other considerations!.
"Reality converts," a fine beginning to the poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Eyes, neurons choose reality!.!.!.the question is, 'what is reality'!? Are neurons and eyes wrong about this entire world!?
Alliteration well done!.!.!.question posed!.!.!.excellent!Www@QuestionHome@Com
To grope with my eyes has been a lifelong passion!. Is it any wonder the ladies think I undress them with my eyes!? I do!.
I like the way you have worded this piece!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
a raster eh!?
m not familiar with that word!. I shall look it up!.
choices!.!. as for rhyming!.!. a poem does not need to rhyme all the time!. it only needs rhythm to fit in the schism!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lusting and gobbling, mostly!.
An occasional loathe but never a grope!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It better be lust if you are talking wife! Our computers do need some fine tuning as pictures in are often not the real ones that memory drags out later!. Well!.!.!.maybe that is the lust filter!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Rough and drafty, as you surmised!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love choices!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Gripe or grape
Lunch or louche
I knoow what you mean!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com