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Question: What do you think!?!?!?!? ill give 10 points!?
In this world there is only good and evil
The flames of hell and the bright a bliss of heaven
Yes the answer shouts out to me over and over
like waves crashing onto the cold world
which intoxicates the ocean
which darkens the sand

Thoughts turn into answers
As I think what I am
The truth is im the evil one
The demon of darkness
For I have lived in the flames of hell
Just thriving to escape

Then as I wander these halls
Of the castle of hell
Something flickers
Just was is this!?!?
My legs move on its own
Why am I chasing it!?!?!?

It something I never seen
Something different
The opposite of my blood hatred castle
What is this!?!?

I finnaly catch up to this
I get too scared to get close
It is a white light
But not the same light
From the blacken flames

I cant explain this feeling
But it is opposite of loneliness
It is a warm feeling
Unlike these cold flames

I become hungry for this warmth
Im craving it more than anything
As a blood eyed raven craves to eat death!.

I nurture this warmth
This soft gentle light
I feed it, protect it
Never to leave it alone

It is a drug
Once you get a taste of it
There is no going back
You wont be able to set it free

Oh I wish there was a warning
Before I had a taste of this
I have been intoxicated with this light
And never being able to take its affects
Away

I need this light more than anything
Yes this light has been soaked into my flesh
It changes my form

I learn what a smile is
What a laugh and being happy was
The blood on my dress has faded
By the light bleaching my dress

But that awful day came
When you left my castle
I need the light more than anything
It is the first time I felt no loneness
But nothing lasts forever

Years go bye and I still crave this warmth
Yes I still stay by its side
Craving it, hungering for it
I need it
But it is fine on its own
It doesn’t need me to nurture it
The truth was it never did

I have found my answers
To this addiction I have
I am evil for I need this light
I am evil for this is what I lust
You cant do a wrong
For you are the Prince of heaven
And Im the Princess of hell!.

im 15 so that should explain some mistakes!.!.!.lol!.!.and i wrote this sort of fast because im just really upset and i need to leak it all out!.!.so what do you think!?!? and what can i do to improve this!?!?!?!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like your poem!. It says alot!. your very last verse thou!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. you are no longer the princess of hell, but of the light! Eternity!. There is one God who created all things, including darkness and light, heaven and hell!. Thank God thru Jesus Hell has no more dominance against!. Your poem is good!. It's the flesh that hungars for evil and the everlasting life that is deep within you that is the truth light!. Hugs girl, your on the right track! :O) Keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com

Please don't blame yourself like this !. If possible try and mend the wrong things you did That's all i have to say !.
But your poem was good and has a pinch of pain hidden in the last stanza!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I personally like rhyming poems, if any!.

But this is better than i could do!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Do you need to be rescued!?
I think it sounds that way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its good really!?! no lie!.u got my attention, wat u wrote about er type!.!.!. !. that's deep well to me!. and i did read it all!.!.!.!. :] the last line is sad and kinda scary!.!.!.!."and im the princess of hell!.!.!.!.!. !._!. its ok really creative!. :)

wat inspired u to make this poem!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

slow down and take your time i love poems i dont write much just keep them in my head but yours i like and yes it was good continue to write some keep to yourself (from experience) you will get to be the poet you never thought you'd becomeWww@QuestionHome@Com

To be honest, I stopped reading after the second line!.
I can tell where this is going, you are lacking a hook, a beginning that would engage the audience!. Even as a poem, you need that spark that interests the reader!. It bored me after the first 7 words!.
You are writing about something that every teenager has written before!. Write with your heart, do not follow what you hear in songs!.
I am certain that you can do better than this!. ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com