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Question: Feel free to rate my poem!?
Just something I wrote, nothing big!.
Reminiscing on the old times we had,
leaving a insipid taste in my mouth, wondering what went wrong!.
I didn’t realize that love could happen so fast, and shattered dreams went away so slow!.
It was a terrifying experience that embarked the sadness of a lonely moment!.
Like a good, bad dream that I dreamt, not being able to control my feeling!.
You were the splendor in my view, but the tragedy of my pain
Being left alone in the shadows of you walking in the distance,
No comfort you gave as you continued to go!.
Just tears from my eyes in sorrow of,
My lost love!.
(c) 2008 HarvestDay Publishing
Thank you
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Not bad, but it needs some work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not a poem!.
Cliched, trite, and boring!.
Melodramatic!.
You're very repetitious and sometimes contradicting (a good bad dream!?)
All in all, sounds akin to most of the teenage emo stuff that pops out of the youth these days!. I'd suggest you stop writing for a couple years, take that time to read some actual poetry, and one day when you look back on stuff like this you'll wonder how you ever let yourself write such nonsense!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
its pretty good
its not as smooth as i would like it, and the structure of it is somewhat confusing, but it's nicely put together!.
it sounds kind of amateur-ish, if you know what i mean!.
it's a lot like song lyrics :]Www@QuestionHome@Com
You need to structure it better and let it flow eliminate the little things if you can!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its ok
not the best i have read
but certainly not the worstWww@QuestionHome@Com
its allrightWww@QuestionHome@Com
it is kinda sorta okWww@QuestionHome@Com