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Question: Second poem! give me criticism please!!?
There's a girl I know
who stands alone
and thinks too much about herself
she doesn't know just who to be
she's the girl who stands alone!.
Her laughter chimes with all the rest
but even I can tell!.
Inside herself she is afraid!.
She doesn't run!.
She doesn't hide!.
But you can clearly see,
inside herself, she stands alone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is how I would rework it
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There's a girl I know
She stands alone
Thinks to much of herself
Doesn't know just who to be
Her laughter chimes with all the rest
But I can clearly see
Inside herself she is afraid
She doesn't run or hide, she stays
Still inside she is today
The girl that stands alone
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Nice Work!. Thanks for sharing!
I really like that "Her laughter chimes with all the rest" verse!.
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i loved the meaning but i think the writing could be more sophisticated!. thesaurus's are always useful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com