Please
don't wake me
I
plan on
sleeping!.
She talked
but still
I
wasn't
listening!.
So deep
in rest
I
couldn't hear
her crying!.
She found
out now
I
was the one
worth leaving!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
| Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> Help me with this short poem? Ways to make it better?Question: Help me with this short poem!? Ways to make it better!? Please
don't wake me I plan on sleeping!. She talked but still I wasn't listening!. So deep in rest I couldn't hear her crying!. She found out now I was the one worth leaving!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Do not change it!. it is a simple and elegant read!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Its perfect, no need to alter it at all !.!. We listen refusing to hear one so dear and so in angst Blessed, gosh no, not!. It seems holy this light, cosmic or neon it enlightens a while!. It burns this heart a tear drops your blood or mine!. Listen and hear well for only time will tell who spoke and mute remained!. Slumbering in sleep so deep on lifes edge to fall and ne'er awake!. Forsake, not I it soars and is where so we roam, home !.!.!. within!. Www@QuestionHome@Com it sounds as if some one was speaking out ones mind from ones grave good creativity yes that is what i call poetry trypoetryWww@QuestionHome@Com Nice poetry!. Have a nice day!Www@QuestionHome@Com i like it, keep up the writingWww@QuestionHome@Com |