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Question: Poem please readddd!'!?
This is a poem i wrote!. Please tell me is it good, bad, Improvements!? I can take critisism!
Seasons
A whirlwind of colors,
Engulfing all around,
The commencement of a new,
As her leaves fall to the ground!.
Her changes oh so brilliant,
Only for a while,
Is dying all that beautiful!?
Does it bring about a smile!?
When her branches are so bare,
And no life is there in sight,
As darkness begins to fall,
Will each day turn into night!?
As the snow begins to pile,
While the air so crisp and clean
The clouds start to break away,
And yet there is a glean!
Slowly over time,
Her green begins to show,
She is reborn again!
But will die again we know!.!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Excellent! The only thing I would change is the last two lines, I do it sometimes myself use the same word twice in 2 different lines!.!. but it breaks the flow!.
If you like try!.!.
She is reborn anew!
but will die again we know!.
also in the first part try "Commencement of the new"
I'm also not sure if you meant "glean" or "gleam" look into the definition to make sure it's what you really want to say!
Really though your poem is excellent, it flows nicely, it has that rhythm that so many people lack!. I really think you should keep up the great work!
PS I also agree with genta!.!. you should think of changing "turn into night" to "turn to night"!.!. it flows better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it really nice!. are you planning to publish it somewhere!? cause it really deserves to be read and praised!. hahaha!. Share the beauty of your writing to others!.!.!. :D
When you make another poem post it again!Www@QuestionHome@Com
okay i loved it and you diffenatly have a telent but i think that you should chang will each day turn into night!? to will each day turn to night other than that i think you did awesome Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's beautiful! I really love it!. The only suggestion I can make is in the first stanza you could probably word "engulfing all around" a little better!. I'm not sure "engulfing" really works!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is good!. Today, I'm telling all the talented youngsters, "You have written Good poetry!. What you need to do next is to read Great poetry!. Start with Ogden Nash and Edna Millay!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
:) perfect nothing to change Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very nice, I like it, must of been some feelings you were having at a time and you put to words, very cool!.!.!. thanks for sharing!.!. : )Www@QuestionHome@Com
it sounds great i love it Www@QuestionHome@Com