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Position:Home>Poetry> This is a poem I wrote . what do you think !?Question: This is a poem I wrote !. what do you think !!? A day in Hell Is like being alone on Earth Falling in a deep never-ending dark hole Seeing flames as the walls of the hole A day in Hell Is like haveing your body burnt to a crips A never ceasing fire That burns to the core A fire that can't be put out A day in Hell Is like the pain you endured on Earth Thesorrows and hatred That people made you feel Things that you will always feel in Hell Hell is like a burning Earth But no happyness No joy No pleasures A day in Hell Is your grave for everWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: wow!! this is very good! you write like i do!.!.!.you see things differently than other people do!.!.!.and thats a really wonderful thing to be able to do!! nice poem!! keep writing! Www@QuestionHome@Com I like the basic idea and feeling you are trying to capture but this poem needs to be cleaned up a bit!. separate your thoughts into stanzas so that it flows better!.!.!.try to use more descriptive words!. take "crisps, happiness" and replace them with something like " char" or something!.!.!.plus crisp doesn't go well with the theme seeing as how its closer to "cold and brittle" plus "burnt to a crisp" is a bit childish good luck and make sure you spell check! you have a good idea goingWww@QuestionHome@Com depressing with much angst i!.e!. a feeling of deep anxiety or dread!. Write a poem about fresh sea breezes, rain, and the loveliness of a sunset!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Please see you counselor, or somebdy who can find some help for you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com very nice!Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow good one!. Www@QuestionHome@Com RightWww@QuestionHome@Com |