Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> This is a poem I wrote . what do you think !?


Question: This is a poem I wrote !. what do you think !!?


A day in Hell
Is like being alone on Earth
Falling in a deep never-ending dark hole
Seeing flames as the walls of the hole
A day in Hell
Is like haveing your body burnt to a crips
A never ceasing fire
That burns to the core
A fire that can't be put out
A day in Hell
Is like the pain you endured on Earth
Thesorrows and hatred
That people made you feel
Things that you will always feel in Hell
Hell is like a burning Earth
But no happyness
No joy
No pleasures
A day in Hell
Is your grave for everWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
wow!! this is very good!

you write like i do!.!.!.you see things differently than other people do!.!.!.and thats a really wonderful thing to be able to do!!

nice poem!! keep writing! Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the basic idea and feeling you are trying to capture but this poem needs to be cleaned up a bit!. separate your thoughts into stanzas so that it flows better!.!.!.try to use more descriptive words!. take "crisps, happiness" and replace them with something like " char" or something!.!.!.plus crisp doesn't go well with the theme seeing as how its closer to "cold and brittle"

plus "burnt to a crisp" is a bit childish

good luck and make sure you spell check!

you have a good idea goingWww@QuestionHome@Com

depressing with much angst i!.e!. a feeling of deep anxiety or dread!. Write a poem about fresh sea breezes, rain, and the loveliness of a sunset!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Please see you counselor, or somebdy who can find some help for you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

very nice!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow good one!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

RightWww@QuestionHome@Com