My heart is black
There’s no sun
In my world
I hear nothing
Except the silence
My mind is clouded
My vision is foggy
Every step I take
Is into darkness
Any suggestions welcome :-)
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Position:Home>Poetry> Critque my free verse poem ^_^?Question: Critque my free verse poem ^_^!? My heart is black
There’s no sun In my world I hear nothing Except the silence My mind is clouded My vision is foggy Every step I take Is into darkness Any suggestions welcome :-) Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: thats soooo good!! :) great job!!Www@QuestionHome@Com I really like it for it's darkness!. I suggest though that you use different words, like find something that is like a more powerful synonym for the words you used already!. to make it sound deeper and more descriptive!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com That is actually really good!. I can totally relate to that poem!. Www@QuestionHome@Com nice!. i like it!. it's dark, but i like it!. ^!.^Www@QuestionHome@Com You are expressing an inner feeling but that is about it!. Not very deep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I always love your poems!.No criticizing here!. =) Www@QuestionHome@Com Very cool :DWww@QuestionHome@Com |