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Question: What do you think of this poem!? !?
Staring back behind me
It’s been an easy path so far
Muscles weary already
Hands caked with dirt
How will I carry on!?

Tripping, falling, stumbling
Unseen obstacles
A shrouded fog descends from the trees
As they whisper cruel words I cannot understand,
Yet still they dig into me

Blue sky melts into black clouds
A crescendo of thunder
Teeth chatter as rain falls
People huddle in safety up ahead
But I can hardly see them anymore

Suddenly the clouds break
A single piercing ray of light
The ground is wet, the path is still hard
But there is a light to follow
It’ll all end up alright!.

if you want to see a few more of my poems, here: http://www!.writerscafe!.org/writers/mjrot!.!.!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It leads to a good conclusion, but it would be much better if you avoided overused words and phrases!. Things such as "hands caked with dirt," "unseen obstacles," "Teeth chatter," "people huddle," are all cliches!. A poet tries to be original with words - that is how he shows himself to his reader, and why the reader responds!. When someone uses words the same way thousands of others have before, then he just sounds like thousands of others!. Most beginning poets do it!.
We all need to find what we want to say, and say it in our own way:)
Now find your own words :) GL!.Www@QuestionHome@Com